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For those who missed #Hurtbae watch the video and learn

February 22, 2017


Dear #Hurtbae


I know that you are angry and hurt. You may be confused and disappointed wondering why you, how did this happen and when the pain will subside. You are asking yourself how did this happen and why did this happen to you. I am sorry for your hurt and your pain but the greater pain is the one you caused yourself and will continue to cause your self if you don't realize that you knew before you knew.


Forrest Gump once said I may be stupid but I know what love is. Even if we have never seen it from our parents we've seen it modeled somewhere. If not with our eyes in our hearts, guts and our spirits. We know that love is gentle, love is kind, and love is not suppose to tear you down. It's suppose to build you up. When a man or a woman loves you it shouldn't feel the way it made you feel the first time he hurt you, or the time you caught him with a woman at his place and he asked You to leave.


The truth is you didn't like him at first, that was your gut telling you to run and when you moved in a new place and saw someone familiar you blew off some of those initial gut reactions and gave him a chance. There is a space we have all been in where we think "if only I can get him to see how special I am , how lucky he is and how much I love him then that will be enough and he will chose me" the fact of the matter is when you have to audition or continue to earn or do tricks to maintain whatever love you think you have it's time to do a self inventory.


I think maybe it's from watching too many happily every after movies where it always seems like the prince comes and he loves us more than anyone and he never hurts or cheats, he is just something out of a fairy tale. I'm sorry #hurtbae life doesn't work that way. The truth is we have to love ourselves, value ourselves and protect ourselves. We have to set the standard, the boundary, the ok not again and when we don't, not only do we create a breeding ground for cheaters, abusers, neglectors etc but we also inevitably end up being a #hurtbae.


It starts with loving ourselves more than we expect someone to, because when we do the fact is we will be more focused on preserving that relationship with ourselves than the one with a #cheaterbae.  #Hurtbae know that you are not alone. There is a world of people out here that wants you to win. We want you to see what we see a beautiful young woman who deserves to be loved, respected and treated with the value she deserves. So know that this too shall pass but now that you know better, chose better.


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