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He begun to suck her breast, her body reflexively jerked, being caught off guard.   He had been sick, last night; was knocked out after soup, crackers and Nyquil. SHE was surprised that he was feeling so much better this morning but she never imagined there would be morning wood.

 

SHE hesitated; saying “ you just started getting better and I don’t want you to get worked up” she told him; but he wanted to get worked up, there is never a reason for not having morning wood; they both had an understanding.  Her body made its decision. She was wet.  He started to kiss her slowly her neck, her back her…. and before she realized her body had surrendered entirely but her mind had not.

 

For her the conflict was normal between her mind and her body one saying no the other saying yes and sometimes she was able to get them both on the same page.  Flash back “a week ago” she was telling him that she didn’t feel his surrender when they had sex, made love... etc to which he responded “I guess I am not all emotionally checked in that is more of a woman issue”. 

 

While sex is the act of two people, some times within that finds one person connected, aware, plugged in fully emotionally while the other may not be on the same page.  Her highly developed predictive brain went ahead of her pussy.  It calculated the time that was available before he had to go to work, factored in the formulaic possibility of orgasm and made the decision that there was not enough time or enough emotional connectivity that would yield an orgasm.  So while her pussy tried to stay wet, and her boyfriend was on top trying to hold back from Cumming her mind decided it was not going to.  

 

In that instant she thought to herself “Why am I not cuming?” and the answer was a clear answer in a whisper from the loins of her universe. “ You don’t trust him to take care of your needs” At that exact moment as if privied to the conversation she was having in her head her boyfriend stopped and asked“ what’s wrong?, are you ok? what’s wrong?”.  She couldn’t find the words; there were no words. 

 

She later realized that there had been times with other people and maybe even sometimes him that she was there but they did not wait for her.  They came before she did and she was left on a Horney Everest trying to figure a way down without self-pleasure or death from the interlude of someone trying to get re-hard.  

 

Her brain quickly redefined her pussy cumming to a "permission basis system" in which it allowed or disallowed orgasm depending on whether or not it calculated that she was going to cum; which is a catch 22 because it wouldn’t let her cum based on its own formula. She decided that there needed to be a paradigm shift in the way her mind controls sex and the ideal outcome. She realized that she had to trust that he would take care of her needs regardless, that way her brain would not need the power to calculate or project whether or not it would allow her to explode.

 

Pronouns might have been change to protect sources :)

To Cum or not to Cum? Why some women ask this Question.